


You Know I Can’t Believe It

by Kate_Reid



Series: Reyloveweek Ficlets [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:57:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15198242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Reid/pseuds/Kate_Reid
Summary: You'd better change it back, or we will both be sorry.Written for Reyloveweek Day 5 - Alternate Universe.Now with a moodboard by my dear Lyssa!





	You Know I Can’t Believe It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Flawless_Sorcerer_Supreme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flawless_Sorcerer_Supreme/gifts).



“I can’t believe it’s been five years.”  Rey smiles at Ben across the table.

Instead of smiling back, Ben gives a little grunt and gulps at his wine.  It’s too old and too expensive to chug like that, but Rey doesn’t remark on it; her greater concern is the look on his face.  She’s known him long enough to know what he looks like when he’s trying to force himself to say or do something he doesn’t want to. 

He pushes the remains of his dinner around his plate.  Ben’s odd about his asparagus; there are bits that he refuses to eat.  Rey has repeatedly tried to figure out which bits, but he can’t explain, so she’s given up and serves the spears to him whole, letting him do his own weird veggie surgery.

“This was delicious, Rey.  Thank you for cooking.”  Ben finally lifts his eyes to meet Rey’s. 

 "Of course.  I don’t use this beautiful kitchen enough.“ Rey’s eyes sweep over the sparkling countertops, the handmade cabinetry, the ergonomic layout that she’d plotted and designed herself.  It brings back a fraction of her smile. 

"You create beautiful things.”  Ben’s own smile is genuine and soft, but a little sad.  "Anyway, yes.  Five years.  We’ve had good times. You--you’ve been so good for me.”

This time, Rey’s smile is a little bigger.  "And you’ve been good for me.  You  _are_ good for me.“ 

"I haven’t always been.  What could you have possibly seen in a waiter at Snoke’s bar?”  Ben shakes his head. “Especially when you were already so successful yourself." 

"You exaggerate.  I’d only just finished my apprenticeship.  And yes, you were a waiter at Snoke’s bar.  That much is true.  But it’s not the whole story.  I knew you were better than slinging drinks and kneecapping the people Snoke was loan sharking.”  Rey hates when Ben sells himself short.

“Well, you were more than just a young architect.  Remind me why you were in the bar in the first place? Oh, because your design was selected for Ahch-To Tower downtown.”  Ben hates when Rey sells herself short. 

Rey remembers that night so well. 

*******

She’d gotten the news about Ahch-To just before leaving the office, but couldn’t tell anyone yet, because her firm and the city wanted to make a formal announcement.  Her insides were fizzing, and she’d suddenly felt like having a glass of champagne to match that fizz.  She didn’t go out much–-her life as an apprentice was too hectic for her to be familiar with the local bars.  But then she’d remembered the cocktail lounge where she’d heard colleagues talk about meeting up after work-–Snoke’s, just a couple blocks from the office.

When she walked into the place, it hadn’t been what she’d expected; with its blood-red walls, low uplighting, and velvet settees, it looked like an old speakeasy.  She’d felt out of place in her tan pantsuit from the Ann Taylor outlet–-this place seemed to require some sort of fringed flapper dress.  Ah, well.  She’d sat down at the bar and done a double-take at the dark-haired, broad-shouldered bartender, blinking dumbly several times, so that he was forced to repeat his “What can I get you, ma'am?”

Rey had figured there was no harm in telling the hot bartender  _(Kylo, what an unusual name)_  the news after swearing him to secrecy.  He’d charmed her, telling her he didn’t realize that the next I.M. Pei was in the house, so Rey’s champagne was on him.

After that day, she’d become a regular at Snoke’s, telling herself that it was because she’d found a friend in Kylo.  That wasn’t too far from the truth-–Finn and Rose were serving in the Peace Corps, and Poe was flying F-15s for the Air Force, all three of them half a world away.  Rey needed a friend, so she refused to think about enjoying the way Kylo’s muscles stretched his black t-shirts.

Most of the time she was there, she didn’t drink alcohol.  Sometimes she’d sip a soda, other times, she’d enjoy virgin cocktails that Kylo happily served up, becoming ever more creative.  Over a few of those ridiculously umbrellaed and cherried drinks, she found out that Kylo was an artist.  It took a few more of those silly drinks for him to pull out his phone and shyly show her some of his work.  It was abstract, but impactful–-bold slashes of brilliant red on jet-black canvas.  One day, when Rey had treated herself to a real Cosmopolitan after a tiring day of work, he showed her another painting.  This one was a departure from his usual style.  The canvas was still black, but in the center, a blue glow surrounded a female silhouette.

*******

Rey turns to look at the painting hanging in pride of place in the living room and can’t help her smile.  Ben sees where she’s looking and smiles, too, but again, he looks sad.

“Well!  You’ve got the world at your feet now, don’t you?” she says cheerfully, reaching across the table to clasp his hand in hers.

“I suppose I do,” he replies slowly.  "It’s you who got me where I am now.  You picked me out and shook me up …“

"No! Ben, we’ve been through this! I entered your art in that show blind!  Nobody knew you were connected to me!” Rey is impassioned.  "You’d have found a much better place with or without me!“

"But you bailed me out of that whole Snoke situation …” Ben trails off. 

“I didn’t do that, either.  You’re the one who found the courage to tell your mother!” Mayor Leia Organa had indeed brought swift justice down on the head of the man who’d taken her son away.  All Ben had had to do was wear a wire a few times.

“Yes, after  _you_ reunited us!  Don’t you see?  It’s because of you, Rey! And I can’t keep hanging around your neck and letting you fix my fuckups!  I’ve already done it for five years!  Isn’t it time I live my life on my own?"  Ben’s eyes are damp and rimmed with red. 

"No, Ben, no! You did all of this yourself.  All I did was believe in you.   _You_ did that beautiful art.   _You_ won a place in that art show.   _You_ caught the notice of gallery owners.   _You_ decided you didn’t want to be involved with Snoke any longer.”

“Rey, I … I still love you.  I just feel like I’ve taken so much from you and given you so little.  You deserve better.”  Tears roll down Ben’s face.

 _Now_ Rey is mad.  "You giant bulky idiot!   _I_  will decide what I deserve!  I can’t believe it when you say that I don’t need you!  I need you so much!  I’d be so lonely …“ Her tears finally spill over.  "You told me once that I wasn’t alone!”

“You’re not!” Ben exclaims, almost reflexively.

“Don’t you see how I need you?  The art you create makes my life more beautiful.  Your reassurance helps me stay strong and believe in my own creations.  You have utter, unshakable confidence in me.  Why am I not allowed to have that same confidence in you, Ben?”

Ben opens his mouth.  Nothing comes out.  A flush colors his cheeks and he begins to look sheepish.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, get over yourself.  I made a cheesecake.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my dear Lyssa, as always, and to Ms. Susan Ann Sulley.
> 
> [Come say hello!](https://calledalaska.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [If Our Paths Forget to Cross](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354603) by [Kate_Reid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Reid/pseuds/Kate_Reid)




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